Some days just feel heavier than others, don’t they? Today was one of those days for me. I’m not even sure what to call this blog yet. Grace to Men, or something like that. I’m still working on it, but I know I want to use it to process weeks like this one, where everything feels a little uphill and unpredictable.
This week’s been long. I’ve been working to get another certification for work. Not because I think anyone at the office is going to throw me a parade for it, or even really appreciate it, but because I want to be better. I want to understand all the products, be a better employee, even if it goes unnoticed. It’s been tough, honestly. I haven’t had all the key modules I needed, and sometimes it feels like I’m just piecing things together. But I keep at it, out of loyalty and a desire to try new things, to put myself out there. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I wish more of us would take those little risks, even if no one’s watching.
I’ve also been trying to reach out to my neighbors more. I want to pray for them, for our neighborhood. I don’t want this place to be just another row of houses where everyone keeps to themselves. Truth be told, I’m not the biggest fan of where we live right now. But then again, is anyone ever truly content with their home on this side of heaven? My real home is the one God’s preparing for me; that’s the one I’ll treasure for eternity, because I know it’s what God is preparing for me. But while I’m here, I want to be a good steward of what I’ve been given, including this neighborhood. I want to take care of it and be the best steward I can, not just of my home but of the neighborhood as well.
So I’m making an effort to be friendly, to be open, to live out what my pastor preaches every week, which is always the gospel, and that’s what matters most. I’m trying to put into practice what I hear each week, to be a good Christian to those around me.
But today was just… tough. My youngest daughter got sick, the kind of sick that ends up all over the couches and everything else. My wife is exhausted. We’ve been raising kids for over twenty years, and sometimes it feels like there’s no end in sight. She needs a break, and little does she know, I’ve got a small mini vacation to Savannah planned for us. I hope it gives us a chance to reconnect and just breathe for a bit. We have our favorite spots down there, and I’m looking forward to it. Hopefully, she’ll appreciate it and we’ll enjoy our time as we always do.
Life is unpredictable. You’re just moving along, doing your thing, and suddenly everything goes sideways. That was today. Some of the things we had planned for this week, like going out on spring break and doing things, may have been ruined, but it’s fine. I keep reminding myself Jesus has got this. God’s got this. Every trial we face here will be rewarded, but it’s not just about getting through the trials; it’s about how we go through them.
I’ll be honest, I haven’t always been the best student when it comes to trials. I fight them, I throw fits, sometimes I even lash out at God. But as I get older, I’m trying to listen more, to be a better son to the living God. It’s not easy. I’ve always had a rebellious streak. Ask my parents. I thought I knew everything, did things my way, and ended up on some wrong paths at times. But God always steers me back. That’s how I know He’s got His hand on me and wants what’s best for me.
Maybe that’s the lesson: as we get older, we start to listen, to appreciate the things God’s brought us through. My life isn’t harder than anyone else’s, but my circumstances are mine. Someone else’s life may be more difficult, and they may have rebelled more or gone down different avenues because they didn’t see what God was trying to do. I’ve been on some of those paths, but somehow God’s always corrected me. I couldn’t do it on my own; I can’t even come to the Father without His leading. Through it all, God’s been the one to correct my course.
So today, with a sick kid and a tired wife, I’m trying to remember: it’s not a personal attack, it’s just another circumstance. Another chance to step back, pray, and trust that God’s got a plan even if our spring break plans are ruined. I pray that my daughter gets better and that we just move forward. She’ll get better, and this will just be another little stepping stone in this life.
If there’s one thing I want to end with, it’s this: trust the Father. He has a plan for all of us. Things get tough, circumstances come that we don’t want or understand, but He always has our best interests at heart. So I’m leaning not on my understanding, but on His.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, mind, and body. Amen.